If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
