It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
