I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
