I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
