so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
