we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
