Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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