drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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