She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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