it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
