I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
