found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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