you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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