a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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