and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
