kristin has been a bad kristin
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
