2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
