I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
