I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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