i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
