It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
