it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
