If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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