So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
