How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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