pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize