Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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