I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
