I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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