Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
