I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
