Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
