Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
