You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
