How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
