I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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