You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
