Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This is the high leading the old right now
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
