Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
