is wine microwaveable?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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