i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
this is an emotional support booty call
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
