I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So many bounce houses so little time
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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