Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
