you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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