just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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