I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
