dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This baby is an asshole
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
