He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
