Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
