Duck Duck Cougar?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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