You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
